so, thursday night my family purchased our first pop up camper. it's an older model so it was pretty inexpensive, but for us it was a bit of a stretch financially. many of our family vacations when i was a little boy were taken in a camper, and i've always dreamed of one day having one.
well, this father's day weekend, that dream came to fruition. i was so excited to pick it up today and bring it home. i cannot express to you how pumped i was.
and then, my world came crashing down. i made a stupid mistake while cranking it up, and broke it. it's got a pulley system, and i cranked it the wrong direction (should have been cranked clockwise), and now will not stay up. so i have to begin the search of trying to find someone in town who could possibly work on it, then pray they don't charge an arm and a leg.
i'm writing this story because of what happened next. satan began an all-out assault on my mind. you wanna know what i heard him say?
SEE, YOU ARE NO REAL MAN. YOU FRIGGIN SCREWED THIS UP TOO, JUST LIKE YOU DO EVERYTHING ELSE. EMILY IS GOING TO BE SO PISSED AT YOU, AND THIS IS GOING TO RUIN YOUR MARRIAGE. WAY TO GO GENIUS. YOU ARE SO STUPID. YOU'VE RUINED YOUR FAMILY FINANCIALLY BECAUSE NOW YOUR STUPIDITY CAUSED UNNECESSARY REPAIRS BEFORE YOU'VE EVEN USED IT! YOU ARE SO DUMB. YOUR LIFE IS OVER. THIS PROVES WHAT A FAILURE YOU ARE. NOTHING YOU DO EVERY TURNS OUT RIGHT. YOU SCREW ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING UP.
this seriously went on for like a half an hour. no joke. absolute attack. the scary thing is that these feelings felt so real. so true. this is just a small snippet of what i experienced.
somewhere in the middle of all this, i heard the tinniest whisper. it was jesus, whispering into my ear. do you want to know what he said?
THAD, THIS DOES NOT DEFINE YOU. THIS HAS NO MEANING WHATSOEVER. BE CAREFUL NOT TO BELIEVE THE ENEMY'S LIES. YOU ARE MY CHILD. I LOVE YOU SON. THE PURPOSE OF OUR RELATIONSHIP IS NOT FOR YOU TO PERFORM FOR ME. THERE'S NOTHING FOR YOU TO EARN FROM ME. I ALREADY LOVE YOU. I LOVE YOU THAD, I LOVE YOU. THIS IS NOT THE END. THIS ONE INCIDENT IS NOT THE REPORT CARD ON YOU. YOU ARE MINE. YOU ARE LOVED. YOU ARE A CHILD OF THE KING.
did the other voices stop? heck no. i'm still dealing with this hours later. but i felt i had to share, believing that someone else out there needs this same encouragement.
this is not necessarily a laughing matter. but you know what? we all make mistakes. this was a silly mistake on my part. so what. if i allow this one event to define my entire life, i'm in serious trouble. the good news is that it's not about me. my life is defined by being a child of jesus. so, now almost 2 hours later, while i'm certainly not laughing about this matter, i feel more at peace about myself. it's gonna suck to possibly shell out more money at some point to get it working again. but, in a few months from now, when my family has been able to enjoy this gift multiple times, will i really remember it?
take heart my friends. satan is looking for any opportunity to try to tell you why you don't make the cut. but it doesn't matter what he says, because if you've committed your life to Jesus, you're already on the team. no one is ever turned away. you can join me any time by simply accepting Jesus' love for you, and living your life for him.