my search to understand the bigger picture

Sunday, June 10, 2012

Beautiful evening

hmmmmmm, it was a perfect night to sit outside for a few minutes and listen.  i was in church this morning, and felt Jesus inviting me to some time alone with him tonight.  it's been on my mind all day, and something i was looking forward to.  so, once i knew the girls were sound asleep, i snuck outside for a few moments and laid down on our trampoline, looked up at the sky, and just listened.

honestly, it was quite difficult most of the time.  it was hard to quiet my mind.  there were things i wanted God to say to me.  there were things i'd hoped he'd say.  instead, he said exactly what i needed, for that moment, for today.

really, the experience itself of watching darkness overtake the sky, watching the clouds float by and the stars come out, watch countless aircraft streak by, take note of the numerous fire flies making the rounds, feeling the cool breeze, yeah, it was breathtaking.  and yet, it was difficult to enjoy.

that made me sad.  sad that it's much easier for me to sit in front of a computer or tv that it is to sit quietly outside.  it made me sad.  BUT, i don't want to stay there.  no.  this time tonight was well spent.  it was quality time in the presence of my father in heaven.  of laying my head in his lap and just being near him.

and difficult as it may have been, it was perfect.

yes.  perfect.

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