my search to understand the bigger picture

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Journaling-My Private Domain

i'm about to do something that i have rarely done before.  i'm going to give you a glimpse into my journal.  i don't reveal this to many.  actually, i'm not sure if i've ever let someone read my journals.  it's not that there's anything in there that i'm hiding.  it's just a place that's between me and God.

however, last week, i wrote some thoughts that rocked me to the core, in a good way.  it's been on my mind ever since, to the point where i felt i should share it with whoever wanted to read.  it may not be earth shattering to you, but it was quite moving to me.

before, i would have said i knew these things.  but after writing these words, it became a heart-felt knowledge deep within.

"I listened to one song in my car on the way into work this morning before turning it off.  One short line went, "Emmanuel.  God with us."  And that has been in my mind ever since.  God with us.  What an amazing truth to live in today.  What a revelation it would be to fully grasp this Father!  To completely understand what it means that you are with me!  That's powerful!  I felt strongly after that, the need for some Prayer House or Crying Room time today.  Just some time alone, away with my Abba.  I should leave my cell phone in my office too, and just bring my Bible and maybe some paper.  This afternoon would be wonderful for that.  I want communion with you today God!  Will you come and join me?  'Thad, if you make time for me, I will always show up for you!  I love you my son.  You are not the only one that looks back fondly on times at Batty's cabin, times camping, times you were trail running, when you ran Comrades.  I LOVED THOSE MOMENTS TOO!'  Wow, I'm shocked right now!  I never imagined God thinking as highly of those moments as I do.  Really God?  Those were some highlights for you?  'YES'.  Whoa.  I want to tell the whole world about this!  Looking forward to some more time with you later today Father.  'ME TOO'.  Hmmmmmm.  Thanks for putting a smile on my face today."

before you dismiss this, and say "Yeah Thad, I already knew that", do me a favor.  ask God what his favorite moments with you have been.  seriously, ask him.  and then wait for his response.  i'll bet a time will come to mind, his way of showing you the times with you that mean the most to him.  give it a try.  you may be shocked at what he shows you.

Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Comparison Battle

i've actually been wanting to write this post for some time now.  but every time i sit down to write, something else entirely comes out, and i choose to just go with that.

however, this morning, i came across a post by Mike Foster on Donald Miller's that spoke many of the thoughts i've been thinking on this topic.  i may share more of my thoughts in a later post, but for now, Mike's insight will suffice.  check out this short read by clicking below.

"enjoy your story wherever it is."  this is a portion of a sentence towards the end.  this is really speaking to me this morning.  what part of this post spoke loudest to you?

Wednesday, April 10, 2013

One Of The Baddest Videos I've Ever Seen!

this is by far, one of the most powerful 3 minute videos i've ever seen.  makes me want to go out and run an ultra right now!  what do you think of it?

Monday, April 8, 2013

Jesus Came After Me

jesus has been after my heart as of late.  i've spent the last day or so noticing jesus calling to my heart in so many different places.  in my car, i was moved to turn off the music and just enjoy the silence.  i've spent times reading when i normally would have turned on the tv.  at small group last night, this phrase came after me with reckless abandon

"jesus is absolutely crazy about me"

it was a powerful revelation.  one that i've had before, but desperately needed to be heard again.  and then this morning, such an intimate time was shared with jesus.  he brought passage after passage of scripture to my heart.  so i journaled them, and then allowed him to just speak to my heart.  i invited him into the inner most, deepest parts of my soul.  and he came.  he spoke powerfully, deeply, carefully, and truthfully.  he challenged me, but set my heart at ease at the same time.

wow.  powerful encounters.  jesus is so amazing.  do you have these types of encounters with him?  i know i don't have them near enough.  but it's my own fault because i typically don't allow my time or attention to experience this.  

thank you jesus for meeting with me today.  such an amazing way to kick off the week.  i love you jesus.

Monday, April 1, 2013

My Wife, the Warrior Princess

emily is her name.  and she's amazing.

i've been meaning to write this post for about a week now.  but life gets in the way, you know how it goes.  life, such an amazing thing when kept in the right perspective.  and yet, it so easily jumps outside of that box.  hmmmmmm, i'm already off topic.

my wife.  on march 22 of this year we celebrated our 10 year anniversary.  10 years.  wow.  in some ways, it seems like just yesterday that we were standing in that church, that we were on our honeymoon, that we were buying our first house.  and yet, in others, those 2 people 10 years ago seem like toddlers who barely knew anything about life.  well, really that was only me.  so much has happened since then.

loss of jobs.  miscarriages.  but then there's the jobs.  god's provision.  2 beautiful daughters.  trip to africa.  many trips every year to michigan.  this short list hardly encompasses everything.

so, emily planned our little celebration of 10 years of marriage together.  this shocked me, and part of me felt bad that she was planning it all.  i did drop roses off to her at work that morning.  that made me feel a little better.  but then, i began to relax as we drove away from her office that night.  everything was kept a secret from me.  i fought hard to not ask, because when there is a surprise i love nothing more than to figure it out.  typically, as is probably the case with many of you, i struggle with allowing others to do things for me.

i tried to force myself to relax as we began driving.  i knew not where we were headed.  eventually we landed in bloomington, illinois, at an eastland suites.  it was a nice hotel, with a separate living room with a little kitchenette and fireplace.  we sat for about an hour, and then a limo came and brought us to a wonderful little steakhouse.  now, emily is not much of a meat eater.  so she planned dinner with me in mind.  wow!  this was hard for me, but i got over it when i began reading the menu.

i finally decided on prime rib.  we enjoyed dinner.  we enjoyed conversation and laughter.  wish i had a picture of the picture hanging behind us at dinner (honey you can be glad i don't have one because i surely would post it here :))

after dinner we headed back to our hotel room to                                    relax.

the next morning came the big shocker.  she had planned for us to go to upper limits, an indoor climbing gym!  this had been a dream of mine for years, and i just had never gotten around to giving it a try.

we took a 2 hour class, and then attempted climbing on our own for a little under 2 hours.  we certainly didn't get close to climbing to the top of the easiest route, but we had a blast, and will definitely be back.  we partook of krispy kreme a few times (if you don't know about this place, i feel sorry for you), had chipotle for lunch, and did some shopping.

now, fellas, i know.  many of you are thinking that you have awesome wives.  and many of you do.  but, i can honestly say, none of them compare to my emily.  i've got one word for her, and it doesn't apply to any other women on the planet..........AWESEROUS!

seriously, emily, i had one of the best weekends of my life with you that weekend.  thank you so much, for planning something fun, with me in mind.  the fact that i got to do it with you made it that much better.  it was certainly one of the highlights of our marriage, when so much focus and attention goes to the girls, or jobs, or the house, or any number of other things.  thank you emily, for taking the time and energy to focus on me.  i love you babe!