my search to understand the bigger picture

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Journaling-My Private Domain

i'm about to do something that i have rarely done before.  i'm going to give you a glimpse into my journal.  i don't reveal this to many.  actually, i'm not sure if i've ever let someone read my journals.  it's not that there's anything in there that i'm hiding.  it's just a place that's between me and God.

however, last week, i wrote some thoughts that rocked me to the core, in a good way.  it's been on my mind ever since, to the point where i felt i should share it with whoever wanted to read.  it may not be earth shattering to you, but it was quite moving to me.

before, i would have said i knew these things.  but after writing these words, it became a heart-felt knowledge deep within.

"I listened to one song in my car on the way into work this morning before turning it off.  One short line went, "Emmanuel.  God with us."  And that has been in my mind ever since.  God with us.  What an amazing truth to live in today.  What a revelation it would be to fully grasp this Father!  To completely understand what it means that you are with me!  That's powerful!  I felt strongly after that, the need for some Prayer House or Crying Room time today.  Just some time alone, away with my Abba.  I should leave my cell phone in my office too, and just bring my Bible and maybe some paper.  This afternoon would be wonderful for that.  I want communion with you today God!  Will you come and join me?  'Thad, if you make time for me, I will always show up for you!  I love you my son.  You are not the only one that looks back fondly on times at Batty's cabin, times camping, times you were trail running, when you ran Comrades.  I LOVED THOSE MOMENTS TOO!'  Wow, I'm shocked right now!  I never imagined God thinking as highly of those moments as I do.  Really God?  Those were some highlights for you?  'YES'.  Whoa.  I want to tell the whole world about this!  Looking forward to some more time with you later today Father.  'ME TOO'.  Hmmmmmm.  Thanks for putting a smile on my face today."

before you dismiss this, and say "Yeah Thad, I already knew that", do me a favor.  ask God what his favorite moments with you have been.  seriously, ask him.  and then wait for his response.  i'll bet a time will come to mind, his way of showing you the times with you that mean the most to him.  give it a try.  you may be shocked at what he shows you.

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