my search to understand the bigger picture

Friday, March 2, 2012

Journal exerpt from 3.1.12

I don't do this very often. Usually I keep my personal journal for thoughts that are all over the place. Some are just random things in the hopes it will get me in a flow to write. Other entries contain some pretty personal items. That being said, I felt like I wanted to post this entry from yesterday. Or at least a portion of it......

"I've been going through the One Year Bible this year, but haven't really read it and paid attention to what I was reading for quite some time. I'm tempted to discontinue this effort because of that, and go back to randomly reading my Bible. Have to give that some more thought. So I cracked open my Bible this morning; it fell to Proverbs 3 where I had one of my many bookmarks in place. Verses 5-12 are giving me much to ponder this morning, especially the beginning verses. '.....don't try to figure out everything on your own.' That's really sticking out to me this morning. What are You saying to me in this Father? Maybe I try to figure out everything because I don't really trust you. Maybe I don't really trust your goodness. Maybe I think I can do a better job. Forgive me for these times. How often do I actually listen for your voice? How quick am I to complain that you aren't speaking loudly or clearly enough. Wow! I've got some nerve. Help me to grow more comfortable with not knowing everything, and help me to develop my faith and trust in You, no matter how difficult that may prove. I love You!"

What is it about life that makes us uncomfortable when we don't know all the details? How boring would that be if we knew how life was laid out for us, every little stinking detail? Part of me thinks that's exactly what I want, but as soon as I got it I know I'd get bored and wish I didn't know. Why not just embrace the adventure life is? No sense fighting it, since we won't ever achieve all the answers before hand anyways. The funny thing is that we don't need to know everything anyways. Proverbs 3 spells it out clearly for us. Don't try to figure it all out, instead learn to listen for God's voice in everything you do. Plain and simple. Now, this does take practice. To stop. And listen. It can take awhile to clear our minds. Sometimes we will get it wrong. But I'm pretty sure God is big enough to overcome that. I've gotta believe he enjoys just watching us try sometimes.

I know that I love watching my daughters try to get something. And I love when they want MY help to get there after trying for themselves. Love it! This also reminds me of what of my all time favorite passages in the Scriptures, found in Isaiah 42.

"But I'll take the hand of those who don't know the way, who can't see where they're going. I'll be a personal guide to them, directing them through unknown country. I'll be right there to show them what roads to take, make sure they don't fall into the ditch. These are the things I'll be doing for them--sticking with them, not leaving them for a minute."

Another favorite quickly follows in Isaiah 43....

"But now, God's Message, the God who made you in the first place, Jacob, the One who got you started, Israel: 'Don't be afraid, I've redeemed you. I've called your name. You're mine. When you're in over your head, I'll be there with you. When you're in rough waters, you will not go down. When you're between a rock and a hard place, it won't be a dead end---Because I am God, your personal God, The Holy of Israel, your Savior. I paid a huge price for you: all of Egypt, with rich Cush and Seba thrown in! That's how much you mean to me! That's how much I love you! I'd sell off the whole world to get you back, trade the creation just for you."

God is surely pursuing us with all He's got. But we must take the time to listen. WE must pay attention.

So there you have it; just some random thoughts today. I went to see Act of Valor last night. GREAT flick! The type where you walk out, not necessarily saying you loved it, but the kind where you walk out sobered. Sobered at the heroic acts performed every day by our military, whether you agree with our policies or not. They serve and give of themselves faithfully. No matter what. One scene particularly moved me, and prompted me to lean next to my friend and whisper, "If only Christians (myself included) had each other's back like this....". Friends, we are family. When one of us hurts, we are all to hurt. When one of us rejoices, we are to join in the celebration! Hm.......yeah. We are family. I love you my family!

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