my search to understand the bigger picture

Wednesday, May 22, 2013


there comes a time for everything.  we all need help from time to time, and are fools if we don't seek out that help.  i once read in a leadership book, a story about a pastor of a megachurch in las vegas.  he was venting to his mentor, and his mentor basically told him to lead himself.  in other words, no one knows quite like you what you need in the moment.  so, don't feel bad taking a vacation day, ESPECIALLY if you need it.  in my case, leading myself means getting some good counseling for awhile.

as a pastor at my church, we are required to go through a series of psych tests and evaluations, mainly geared towards helping us grow and improve upon some areas.  it also does point out some causes for concern.  in my case, nothing of concern came up, but the counselor did feel it would be beneficial to do some counseling sessions.  the more i thought about it, the more i felt it was the right decision to make.

so, that's the reason i'm sharing it publicly.  the temptation is to not follow through.  you know how it works.  the moment you make the choice to do this, you think you feel a little better, and then all of a sudden you've talked yourself out of it.  so, i need to find out if it's covered under my insurance, and then schedule that first appointment.  sooner than later.

so, i'd appreciate your prayers.  part of the reasoning for this post, and the last one dealing with depression, is an attempt on my part to get some of those feelings out.  not just hold them inside.  but get them out.  it's much easier to do this writing than speaking them out for me.  i also want people to know the real me, not just what i portray.  many times, that's only half of what's really going on inside my brain.

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