my search to understand the bigger picture

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

What's Your Story?

before i get too far into this, i need to warn you.  what lies ahead initially is sort of...................crude.  forgive me.  however, i think it's worth it if you stick it out.

i got into work around 7:15am this morning, eager to get under way.  i've been up since 4:30 to run, so my morning "routine" began to express the need to happen.  so i headed to the bathroom, and as i so often do, took out my phone to check twitter.  not surprisingly, the phone locked up like it has been doing a lot of lately.  i put it back in my pocket and caught myself saying, "guess i'll spend a few moments with jesus."

guess what i heard as a response?

"so i'm a consolation prize?"

DOH!  (think homer simpson voice.  really spiritual, i know)  so i'm not exactly sure if this was God's response or simply my own thoughts as to how that must have sounded.  hmmmmm, i can't be on twitter so i guess i'll talk to God.  boy, jesus must have been so thrilled at that!  (insert heavy, heavy sarcasm)  what followed were not thoughts of condemnation, but that of love.  i didn't feel guilty, more felt God looking lovingly on me, saying "Thad, I wish you knew HOW much I love you and want to spend time with you.  I want to show you this."

in a country with so much freedom, many times i subject myself to so much slavery.  often i wonder if i'd be better off without a tv at home, internet, or a cell phone.  this morning, my thoughts turned to wondering what would happen if i gave all that up for a month.  at least once i get home at night and am with my family.  when i die, will i regret not having watched more of the olympics, not having watched Braveheart one more time, not having spent more time online?  hmmmmm, not sure those are the things i'll regret.

a friend passed away unexpectedly last week.  that brought back to mind some things i've been thinking on lately.  thoughts about 2 things when we first meet Jesus in heaven.  

first, i think we will be greatly surprised at the level, depth, width, etc of the love God has for people.  i think it's so far beyond our comprehension.  and second, i think we will be greatly surprised at the level of commitment He wanted from us that we didn't give while alive.  actually, i'm not sure if that will be on our minds, the moment we are in God's presence.  not sure we will be occupied with regrets.  but if we were able to look back at our life, i think we'd find ourselves wishing we had spent our time a little differently.

so, yesterday, in an all staff meeting, our senior pastor at the church i serve gave us some updates on our current season, a season of Crescendo.  one thing he asked in that meeting was "What is our story right now?" meaning, what is God doing in our lives right now.  i could have come up with answers, but this morning i received clarity on that question, in that bathroom stall.  right now, God is calling me into a Crescendo of time spent with Him.  my commitment level to doing things FOR Him is high, but my commitment level to BEING with Him is not always at a level i want it to be.  so, it makes me wonder about things like taking a break from the tv for awhile.  taking a break from thoughtlessly wandering the interwebs.  to some extent i've got to remove distractions from my life.  i also need to be more in touch with Jesus on a regular basis throughout the day.  

so, what's YOUR story?  what is God doing in YOUR life?  He's calling me to intimacy with Him.  i'm going to accept His invitation.  what about YOU?

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