Let that just soak in for a minute. I mean, it sounds great, right? This is one of those sentences that kind of makes everyone feel just a little bit better. And it is completely true......................but.....................
I'm nowhere near what Christ is.
NO WAY! I know this comes as a shocker to almost all of you. Upon further evaluation of this sentence, I've realized that it's quite painful. It's sobering. I posted this quote on twitter and Facebook earlier today, I suppose because I thought it was cute. I thought people would think great things about me, such as "Thad is really deep. He's really thinking about God stuff." or "He's really beginning to get it." possibly even "Thad is such a blessing. He always shares amazing thoughts and life-giving statements."
But, I've come to the conclusion, that I am a LIAR. I mean, I put that quote out there, as if to say, "Look, I've got some stuff figured out, and I want to share it with you all today." Isn't that what we are saying when we threw random quotes out there like that. I mean, it is great when something so moves you that you can't help but share it with the masses. But really, how many of us have actually gone on and allowed the truth of that quote to truly transform our lives.
This is problem I see in myself all too often. I settle for knowledge. Literally, I stop once I've learned something. But the whole point of learning, is the application of what you've learned. Otherwise, you haven't really learned it. It's one thing to be aware of an idea, thought, etc. It's a completely different thing to have been transformed by that idea, thought, etc.
Tonight I was reading Blue Like Jazz by Donald Miller, and came across another quote. "What I believe is not what I say I believe; what I believe is what I do." I've come across similar quotes before. But this struck a chord with me tonight, almost in a refreshing sort of way. I say a lot of things as if I believe them, but my actions show a completely different story. I spent some time reflecting on this, asking God to reveal to me whatever he deemed important. And while I didn't come to any earth shattering conclusions, I did get the feeling of being loved regardless. Not that God was saying, "It's ok". But more like, "I know, and I love you anyways Thad". Acceptance. What a gift.
I'm a liar, but God still loves me. Is there anything more powerful, than to have someone (God) know the innermost struggles of my soul, and still take the time/patience to reassure me of their love? Better yet, to actually still love me?
I am a liar, and God loves me. And I'm learning to love him a little better each and every day. Hopefully my actions reveal that more and more every day.